Darkness

It is said God dwells in thick darkness.
We can’t imagine how thick.

Sometimes the darkness is so thick
it holds you up.

Sometimes the mystery is so complete
the fear so deep, you can only trust.

Sometimes in the deepest dark, alone,
we feel another hand, unseen, in our hand.

And sometimes the darkness is so solid
that the darkness itself gently holds our hand.

Sometimes the unknowing is so absolute
you know you couldn’t have made this up.

Sometimes darkness
is a way of knowing God.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Turmoil

When turmoil surrounds me I sometimes internalize it:
it becomes inner turmoil. Then I get used to it.
I get habituated. I get addicted
to my own chaos and uncertainty.
But once, on a stormy point—waves crashing—
some seagulls found a spot to sit on the water
where the waves never broke. They rested.
God, give me grace to be at peace, even in the storm,
to let the turmoil pass over me like wind,
to know the upheaval is not mine,
to trust that within any chaos
there is peace that is you—
to rest, even in the storm.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Loaves and fishes

When they ask the elders “How did you do it?
With so little, against so much, how did you do it?”
the answer is always the same.
With five loaves of love and two fish of courage
we marched for justice.
With five loaves of wisdom and two fish of hope
we stood against the tyrant.
With no more than what I could carry in my heart
I left the abuse.
With only a step and a step I marched and stumbled
through recovery.
With scraps and fragments we fed the hungry.
The loaves and fishes we offered up.
The grace was provided.
Kindness multiplies. With small acts and generous hearts
we changed the world.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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There it was

One day there it was.
Hope at the bird feeder.
Gratitude murmuring among
the pebbles in the brook.
Kindness waiting for me
between the sidewalk and the door.
Beauty lying on the windowsill.
Courage with one leaf
in the little blue pot on the porch.
Peace on the shelf, right beside the beans.
Happiness, just sitting there.
I guess they were there all long.
I wonder:
where was I?

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light www.unfoldinglight.net
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You reveal

God, you reveal yourself so sparingly!—
a fleeting suspicion, a rising tide in me,
a wisp of interstellar dust, a scent,
a half-emerging thought, a leaning within,
a clarity that veils itself,
shy dancer in the dark,
a light out of the corner of my eye—
but not there now—
hope wearing a chador.

And yet: a continent of green things,
beauty generously outpoured,
the faithfulness of gravity,
the intricate weave of all living things,
the heart’s capacity to love and to forgive,
those I could name for hours who have cared—
God, you reveal yourself so abundantly!

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Turning the compost

It begins with the thrust of the fork,
piercing the side of the pile,
opening up the flesh of the earth, the scraps
of every sacred meal, the once savory leavings
of every sensuous morsel that passed your lips,
the bright, transcendent moments now
no different from the failures, the spoiled
dishes that hit the garbage before the plate,
the sins and revelations all alike
left to richly rot and bless their grave.
Giving thanks, you upheave the work
of worms and bugs, the dark labor
hidden from your eyes but not your faith,
the transfiguration of the mess
from the leavings of death to living soil.
To theirs you add your labor,
turning the pile, letting what has been
become what shall be, the sower knows not how.
Something within is turning, too, of course,
but understanding is as foreign there as here.
You plunge and lift the fork, and learn to trust
that mystery, as with a seed, in which a thing,
a moment, or a memory, bears more
than can be seen or known, but in its dying
is set free to become yet even more,
grace emerging in the turning. And so you turn
the pile, as with your heart, then come back in,
take off your gloves, and change your shoes, and know
the treasure buried in the field becomes the field,
becomes your life. The holy, turned, becomes
the world.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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The field

You won’t find it in an exotic market
behind a secret beaded curtain,
not on the last hundred meters
of the mountain finally conquered.
You won’t achieve it after a long struggle.
It will come to you, unbidden, lightly masked.
You’ll stumble upon it on a sidewalk.
It will blossom in a small, unremarkable place.
It will be tiny, like yeast, and change everything.
A friend’s glance, a stranger’s comment.
A sudden sunrise of forgiveness, the shadow
of a companion when you thought you were alone.
A portal no greater than a bee on a flower
opens to an entire world inside this one,
of grace unasked, unbound, passed on
like the bee’s dance to any who witness.
For the bee you’d buy the flower, the field,
the world.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Treasure

Prayer is not fingering the pearl of great price,
or turning over in your hand the secret treasure.

It’s emptying your vault to afford the pearl.
It’s buying the field.

God, I don’t know where to find the pearl.
I give you my all. Spend it where you will.

I haven’t found the treasure yet.
But I am your field. Dig.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Unheld

When you fell and skinned your knee
and your mommy kissed it and made it better
it really did make it better.

How much of your agony is not the hurt
but the need for someone to hold you?

Friend, we live in a crowd unheld.

You have been given the heart
to kiss the world better,
to seek the hurting
one child at a time,
and hold them and their hurt.

Do so, and even at a distance, with strangers,
as in any good embrace,
you find yourself miraculously
held.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Hope

          In hope we were saved.
          Now hope that is seen is not hope,
                    for who hopes for what one already sees?
          But if we hope for what we do not see,
                    we wait for it with patience.

                                 —Romans 8.24-25

Behold this mystery: severed flesh knows how to heal.
Sundered tissues reach out for each other,
join hands, embrace, reweave a wholeness.
I know this. I trust it. This is my hope.

The sower goes out to sow in hope,
not with some magical power of wishing,
but the sure knowledge of how seeds work.
There will be setbacks, and a harvest.

Hope is not wishing for a certain future,
but trusting in the grace that is present.
Paul is wrong. I hope in God’s salvation
because I do see it. It is already here,

the grace that spawns forgiveness,
the courage that seeks justice,
the love that reaches out, that risks boldly,
the patience that endures.

One may hope for something yet to come,
but we hope in something already here.
There will be setbacks, failures and disasters.
But grace is not future tense. Already present.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
Listen to the audio recording:

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