Unfolding Light

          I do not do the good I want,
          but the evil I do not want is what I do.
          Now if I do what I do not want,
          it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells within me.
                       —Romans 7.19-20

We lie, we cheat, we lash out.
We say, “I don’t know what got into me.”
Monsters. We all have monsters.

You can hear them breathing heavy under your bed.
You know they want to grab you
and make you do bad stuff.

You want to keep them locked away.
But lie down on your stomach and look under the bed.
Spend time with them.

Turns out they’re not mean. They’re scared.
All your greed, your bitterness, your meanness,
it’s just them being scared.

(You know why they breathe so heavy?
Because they get asthma hiding under your bed.
It’s a terrible, dusty, airless place but it’s safe.)

(You know why it seems they’ll grab you?
They need a hug. You’ve ignored them for years.
Give them a hug and they get less grabby.)

You know when Jesus went out into the desert
and “he was with the wild beasts?”
Yep. His monsters.

Befriend your monsters. Let them tell you
what they’re afraid of, how they got hurt.
After a while they stop being monsters

and become memories
and move next door
and you’re both a little more free.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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           I do not understand my own actions.
           For I do not do what I want,
           but I do the very thing I hate.
           It is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells within me.
           Who will rescue me from this body of death?
           Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Chief!
                       —from Romans 7.15-25

Our sin isn’t that we’re bad.
It’s that we don’t know how to trust God.
“Original” sin just means we were born that way.

Without trust in God, we’re slaves to our egos,
constantly trying to protect our little individual selves.
We don’t mean to; instinct kicks in, and we’re selfish.

Like Gollum protecting his Precious,
we’re constantly anxious about our self-worth.
It’s a deadening way to live.

The war between good and evil is a cage fight.
We can’t get out. We try to do the right thing,
but keep maiming ourselves. How do we win?

We don’t. God removes us from the fray.
We are forgiven. Nasty, broken, and beloved.
There’s no cage. No fight. Only our needs, and God’s grace.

The call—a gift, yet so hard!— is simply to trust that.
We get free, then crawl back into the cage.
And God removes us again. And bit by bit

we learn to trust. And to live like it.
Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ,
the Referee of Love.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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What if in the end there is no law-giver
demanding obedience
but a life-giver offering life?

What if there is no seer
dispensing secret wisdom
but a friend, offering companionship?

What if there is no messiah
leading a crusade
but a presence who delights in you?

What if there is no savior
rescuing us from hell,
but a fellow traveler offering help?

What if there is no journey, no trial,
no mountain, no door, no key, but only
the Beloved, right here, offering themselves?

“Come to me, all you who are weary
       and are carrying heavy burdens,
       and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
      for I am gentle and humble in heart,
      and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy,
      and my burden is light.”

                                (Matthew 11.28-30)

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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While you are worrying about the state of the world
they are walking, while you are doing the dishes,
driving on the Interstate, unseen, hand in hand,
generations of them, singing in so many languages,
as you sleep, when you carry the little package
on its bothersome errand, they are all walking,
bearing their bundles of goodness and wisdom,
their powerful prayers, their scattered blessings,
as you read the news, marching over miles,
over fetid marsh, across vast wordless steppes,
through the cloven sea, courageous, walking,
between your house and the hardware store,
bearing the gifts of the Realm they come from,
their ancient knowing, down your city’s streets
and onward, a great river of hope and wonder,
defying Emperors and their armies, walking
toward a Realm we are only learning to imagine,
Wise Ones on the way to honor the Child,
myriads from every nation approaching the glory,
dreaming in each other’s languages,
(even now you can join them),
singing, remembering the dyings and risings yet to come,
without ceasing ever, bearing us all,
this whole world, onward, always….

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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You can be a flower by the side of the road.
You can be a fountain for whoever passes by.

You can be a lighthouse where the coast is uncertain.
You can be a handrail, a park bench, an umbrella.

You can be the voice that does not jeer,
that calms, encourages, or thanks.

“Whoever gives even a cup of cold water
to one of these little ones will not lose their reward.”

(Mt. 10.42)

_____________________

Weather Report

The sky’s the limit.
Led by favorable winds,
opportunities for grace will abound.
Though the world is partly cloudy,
expect to radiate warmth
and light.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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As evening fell, an earthquake struck,
buildings toppled, and all through the city
people were crushed and maimed.
Into the streets came a medic,
even as the light failed, moving among the fallen,
through the evening and into the night.
He blessed the dead and tended the wounded,
giving his care, mending as he could.
In such deep and frightening darkness
by what light was he able to do such healing work?
Only because he was accompanied by a lad
who carried a lantern, who stayed by his side,
not out of great strength or courage,
not out of hope for a reward,
but because he loved the healer
and wished to stay by his side.

Friend, the Beloved
moves through this world
performing miracles.
You only need to stay close,
and hold the light.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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          God said, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.”
          God said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love,
          and go to the land of Moriah and offer him there as a burnt offering
          on one of the mountains that I shall show you.”
                       —Genesis 22.1-2

Maybe it’s a story about God testing Abraham,
to see if he’ll be so loyal
that’s he’d do something awful for God.

Maybe it’s about how when we care about our beliefs
more than our relationships
bad things can happen.

Maybe it’s about how sometimes we’re wrong:
a confession that sometimes
we’re so blinded by our religion
that we do awful things,
convinced it’s what God wants us to do,
and God has to stop us,
which is why God says in Hosea,
“I desire mercy, not sacrifice.”

Maybe it’s not about Abraham
but the ancient Hebrew people,
the moment they realized that child sacrifice was wrong.
Maybe in the end what was sacrificed
was neither a son nor a ram, but a belief,
and our arrogant self-confidence.
Maybe it’s about how no matter what we believe
we have to keep listening.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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I hear Dark and Light split up, went their separate ways.
Apparently Light had a thing going with God
and Dark was insanely jealous. He said,
“I thought God and I were close. I mean, we knew each other
long before she came along.” Dark got kind of stormy,
slunk off to make his own way in noir movies
and caverns and moody restaurants. Light painted a sunnier
picture, and found solace in deserts and Christmas carols
(even though those were dripping with darkness).
Their daughter Dawn took the split hard, felt like
they made her take sides, and pretty much went with Light,
but Sunset worked it out; she knew
she couldn’t make it without both of them.
Some therapists tried to get them to work together,
Rembrandt and the Impressionists and Edward Hopper.
But Dark said, “Look, still, I’m nothing, right? I mean,
everybody knows it’s all about the Light.”
Light, as light will do, remained silent.
Everybody expected God to move in
with Light, but God played it cool, and even said things like
“I dwell in darkness.” Kept people guessing.
Finally God said, “They’ll work it out.
Look at your hand. There is an inside and an outside, no?
So it is with light and darkness.”

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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You are freer than you think.

Some are less free than you, and you know it.

Some are less free, and you don’t know.

Someone sees how you are not as free as you think.

Not yet.
Somewhere someone is just now becoming free.

Our freedom is linked, all of us.
One’s freedom frees all; one’s oppression chains all.

We have more choices than we think.

God is the freedom that allows others their freedom.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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          Those who find their life will lose it,
          and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.
                       —Matthew 10.39

A girl surmounts her fear of shame and failure
and finds herself singing.

What you cling to is your burden.

A fellow gives away his lunch,
and then his superiority,
and is strangely satisfied.

Ask the drunk:
what you know you can’t live without
is the lid of your tomb.

A lover, leaving herself behind,
has all of herself to give
to her beloved.

The life that is yours, yours alone,
is so small. Drop it
for the life of every being,
vast and delightful
as a field of poppies.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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