Grace and Peace to you.
I just don’t feel like Advent today. I don’t have time to sit in the velvet darkness and contemplate some wonderful silence. I don’t feel Jesus coming. I’m not in touch with any promise or vision. I have absolutely no idea what Isaiah means by “preparing a way,” and even less idea about that crazy John the Baptist jumping around in the desert with grass in his hair. I don’t know what it means to “make of my heart an open manger.” I’m just not there. I’m busy, tired and distracted. I haven’t set up my stupid little Advent wreath; the candles lie in their stupid little box in the closet, under a lot of stuff. You’re starting to bug me. All the spiritual hype about repentance and transformation sounds to me just like the crap from Macy’s about how I need to buy their stuff. I’ve done Christmas before. I know what to expect. I bet I’m going to be just fine in January like I am now. So I’m just going to go right on with my ordinary little life here, OK? Whatever is in my soul, I’m not handing it over. It’s nothing special, anyway, nothing devout and holy. It’s clenched inside, plain and undeserving, and fine with that. I’m fine. I just want nice presents and a good dinner with the kids. That’s all. So if you’re going to break in on my world, it’s up to you. If you’re going to do some wacky Gabriel thing with me, knock yourself out. Go ahead and make flesh turn into heaven, and a plain human life divine. If you’re going to come into my life, don’t wait for me. Just do what you do, you know, behind our backs and unasked for and all that. Go right ahead. Do your thing. OK? Please?
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes