As I think about retiring I imagine freedom.
I also imagine the cost. I imagine what I will leave behind,
like the Hebrews when they escaped from Egypt,
what they carried and what they left behind,
how both could be a burden,
how even freedom begins in loss.
The addict coming clean is no different,
the sinner laying down the sweet sin,
the child outgrowing those childish, selfish ways.
Gaining always begins in letting go.
And I think of you and what you will gain and lose,
how moving into the next leg of the journey is a departure,
what shore you will never see again,
what courage is required to surrender to delight,
how the dancers of joy wear little bells of grief
and how the music of people becoming free
with its minor chords and passing dissonances
is so beautiful. And I would like for us all
to be hollowed out like flutes
for the breath of God.
May 12, 2020