Weeds and wheat

Let weeds and wheat grow together until the harvest….
—Matthew 13.30

God, I meant to be a good person;
I wanted to produce wisdom and justice.
How is it I am so compromised?

There is goodness and mercy in me,
and there is selfishness and fear,
privilege that serves only my fake desires.

I’ve been asleep! I missed it,
when my ego crept in
and sowed all this junk in me.

I want to march through the field of my life
and tear out all the weeds.
I want to be better. Now.

But, look how harsh I am, judging myself.
My hands are full not of the fruit of love
but shame and a scythe.

Some of me that I am disappointed in
hides your blessing, wheat among the weeds.
Only you know the true fruits I bear.

I set aside my weapons.
I let go of accusing myself.
I accept myself as I am, weeds and wheat.

I trust you to glean the grain from my field
and remove the rest—
gone, cleansed, burned forever!

May my peace and acceptance
be the seeds I sow
for the next harvest.

Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light

July 17, 2020

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