Psalm 139

A paraphrase

Holy One, you know me from inside me.
          You know me in my doing
          and in my pure Being.
                     My thoughts are transparent to you.

You are my travels and changes,
          and what in me simply is, unchanging.
                    You have shared every step, every breath.

Before my mouth forms a word,
           before my mind forms the thought,
                     you see it, you feel it, you know it.

You enclose me, my atmosphere, my body;
           you precede me, and I echo in you.
                     I live inside your embrace.

This is too wonderful for me to comprehend.
           There’s no way I can take it all in.

Where can I go that is not You?
           Where are you not present?

In the place of wonder and glory, there you are.
           In the place of abandonment and despair,
                     there you are.

If I try to be free of you
           and flee far away from you,
even there you accompany me;
           you hold me in your arms.

If I hide inside myself,
           buried in depression, wholly lost,
you see right through, clear as day:
           in you everything is translucent.

My mother, my womb, my artist,
           you handcrafted my soul and my cells—
                     wonder! awe! Gratitude!
Grandmother, you knitted me so thoughtfully,
           every stitch a prayer.
The way you made me, I am your praise,
           your masterpiece,
                     the work of your genius.

You intended me,
           you created my inner being,
                     intricately wove me in the depths of the earth.

You see clearly
           what is only yet becoming in me.
Your love already has a hold
           on all that will ever become of me
                     before it unfolds.

I want to be continually mindful
           of your wonderfulness in all things.
Your thoughts are beyond mine:
           rational thought can’t behold you:
                     only wonder.
Beyond all thoughts and words
          you are simply present.

O Love, set me free from what is not love.
          May I love that which sets me free.

Free me from all bitterness,
           my desire to control,
                     my desire to get my own way.
Purify my love, O Love,
           and my courage to stay faithful
                     in the face of resistance.

Examine me, O Truth, and know me from inside.
           Expose my true thoughts.
Confront everything that strangles my love
                     and set me free to live in the Way of Life.

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