Still her

There was a moment
she stood in a doorway
dressed as a princess,
holding a plastic pitchfork,
lit from behind with magic,
and she looked perfect,
even the pitchfork,
little angel and little devil,
because she had just
totally trashed the play room.
And he knew
both the princess and the imp
were costumes; the real girl
was deep inside.

That night he watched her sleeping,
watched her a long time,
wondering at the real girl
she still was, deep inside,
even sleeping, still her,
for whom his love would not change.

Now these many years later
he remembers that,
sitting by her mother’s bedside
in the memory unit where,
costumed in harsh bewilderment,
she is more imp than princess,
and most of the time neither,
but hardly there,
and yet
there she is, the real person
deep inside,
all the costumes shed now,
so much of her mostly sleeping,
and yet, still there, still her,
for whom his love would not change.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Fox and hen

           “Get away from here, for Herod wants to kill you….”
           Go and tell that fox for me, ‘’I will finish my work….
           How I have desired to gather your children as a hen…”
                                 from Luke 13.31-34

What guts!— to choose to be the hen of God
in the kingdom of the fox—

unmoved by the threats of the predator,
choosing to be gentle and unprotected;

surrendering self as center, to claim the masses as family;
risking death, to give life; to offer shelter.


I am not a citizen of the Empire of Anxiety,
nor fearful of the Fox.

I belong to the Mother Hen of God.
I live in the land of resurrection.

          Beloved, I choose to follow. Be my love,
          my power and my shield, my hope and my courage.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Long and gentle path

Violence is quick; healing is slow.
Ask the bone, the tree, the heart.
Love takes time.

We crave instant success
not for love of the present moment
but fear of it:
we want to move on.
But our sudden outbursts
of self-assertion will expire;
God will remain.

God prays for you
for ten thousand years
before you are born.

Don’t be fooled by the Instant Way.
Nothing good happens there.
Love outlasts its little deaths.
Commit yourself to the long and gentle path.
Yes, evil ones may undo you in a moment—
this is the truth of the cross.
But God has been preparing your resurrection
since the beginning of time,
and even now it ripens, and is ready.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Today and tomorrow

          Some Pharisees came and said to him,
          “Get away from here, for Herod wants to kill you.”
          He said, “Tell that fox for me,
          ‘Listen, I am casting out demons and performing cures
          today and tomorrow, and on the third day I finish my work.”
                                        —Luke 13.31-32

Not in the swirling unknown of a dark future,
not in my dread of the end,
but here and now, today and tomorrow,
I put my heart and mind to healing,
to being present this day.
I will not be wrenched from today,
or distracted from my work
of mercy and love,
no matter how the future may threaten.
At my end my work will be whole,
finished in love.
And even if the end is too soon,
the third day, my friend,
is a day of rising, victorious.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Uprooting evil

             “Get away from here, for Herod wants to kill you.”
                         
—Luke 13.31

The hallmark of evil
is that it never creates, only destroys.

Evil never loves, only hates,
favors cruelty over kindness, lies over truth,

anger over mercy,
resentment over forgiveness.

Evil reaches for the curse or the sword,
and never risks its own advantage.

Easy as it is to name this in others,
how hard it is to avoid it myself.

To bless even those who curse,
to disrupt evil by creating, not destroying,

to share my advantage with those with less:
this is the great challenge.

Overcoming my own evil
uproots half the Empire’s.

            Beloved, may your reign of grace
            overtake the kingdom of my heart.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Threat

             Some Pharisees came and said to him,
             “Get away from here, for Herod wants to kill you.”
                         
—Luke 13.31

Now suddenly those old temptations get real.
The bread, security and power
that Caesar and Satan offer or withhold
feel different now.
Now, when the Empire threatens,
not in the safety of the desert,
our answer matters.

As in the desert, the Emperor’s threats
are mere temptations, illusions born of fear and desire.
We need no magic wand, no shielding angels,
no protection of the kingdom.

The Emperor wants me to be afraid.
I will not comply.
My power lies not in what I fear, but what I trust.

            God, help me to choose empathy over Empire,
            to stand for love against the threat of pain,
            to disregard the kingdom of fear
            and trust the ecology of your grace.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Desert prayer

Mighty One,
I confess my lust for power
to turn stone to bread,
to make this world as I wish.
But my powerlessness
is the vacuum into which
your grace rushes
with infinite might.
Give me trust
in your power in my weakness.

Compassionate One,
I confess my fear of pain.
I’m afraid of speaking out
for fear of what it might cost me.
I wish I could not be hurt
even falling from great heights.
Lead me in the way of love,
through the wound of the world.
Give me trust
in your grace as my only security.

Beloved,
I confess I want to be on the inside,
secure in the kingdoms of the world.
But you are my only true belonging.
Give me trust
to rest in your arms.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Desert

             Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit,
             returned from the Jordan
             and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness,
             where for forty days he was tempted.
                         
—Luke 4.1-2


Lead me, Spirit,
into the wilderness of my own heart.
The empty places… exposed… eroded,
where I am utterly alone
with you.
Lead me to the forsaken places.
Guide me in the scary places.
Accompany me in the silent places,
far from all shouts and rumors,
where the only sound
is the wind of your breath.
Here I am vulnerable… weak… dependent.
My fears loom like heat waves;
my hungers chew at me
and dull me to my hunger for you;
my thirst for what I don’t have
dusts over what I have in you;
my desires skitter into shadows
like scorpions.
Here where I am so near to being lost
let me find myself in you.
Give me grace and strength
to stay long enough to be changed.
O Spirit of goodness,
be my hunger and my food,
my danger and my safety,
my wilderness and my good way home.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Dust and Ashes

Ash from the crematorium,
dust of bombed out buildings,
this we breathe.

In a day, or many,
all our flesh
will be shoveled under, dirt.

Our great grandchildren
whose world we dry up
bring our ashes to us.

Christ comes in all who suffer;
from the border, or Gaza, or Ukraine
they rub their ashes on our foreheads.

We hold our treasure
in crumbling clay vessels.
We are the vessels.

Bless the clay and its crumbling,
even to dust—
the leaking of light.

Let love and humility
with wounded hands
spread our ashes.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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Shrove Tuesday

Today we burn last year’s Palm Sunday palms
for tomorrow’s ashes.

Our praise is fickle, our righteousness thin.
Our faith is steadfast, and also fake.

Our beliefs are unsteady, and often turn on us.
Our knowledge is in part; sometimes that’s the part that kills.

Poets write life-giving verses with poison ink.
Prophets rail against injustice with bloody hands.

Even our prayers are sinful. They often forget us. Or God.
And sometimes our mistakes are full of grace and truth.

We trust the divine dance of our fallibility
and the One who redeems it.

The ignorant are confident, oblivious, and frantic.
The wise doubt their wisdom and are at peace.

Burn our praise, then, God, and from the ashes
raise up a people shriven, forgiven, ready to repent.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
Listen to the audio recording:

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