Garbage

             I regard everything as garbage
             compared to the surpassing value
             of knowing Christ Jesus my Beloved.
             I want to know Christ
             and the power of his resurrection
             and the sharing of his sufferings
             by becoming like him in his death,
             if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
                                      
—Philippians 3.8, 10-11


What keeps me from loving boldly when it’s hard,
from bearing witness to grace in a mean world?

     I’m afraid of being hurt, of being scorned
     of being blamed for upsetting people.

        It’s the desire to be safe, to be liked, to not be in trouble.
        For all that garbage, I suffer fear. I cling to it!

            Jesus, take this garbage from me. I’d rather have you.
            I choose your grace over the world’s adoration .

What keeps me from hoping steadfastly?
     I despair because my power is so puny.

          Help me unload my attachment to my effectiveness.
          I’d rather be with you in a lost cause than winning without you.

My fears and desires weigh me down.
     When I welcome your grace what I cling to becomes trash.
         I let it all go.
               Dying with you, I am set free. I am risen.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
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