Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.
When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob,
he struck him on the hip socket;
and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.
Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.”
Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.”
—Genesis 32.24-26
The pain, the problem, the struggle,
the wound, the weakness, the “disability”—
don’t let it go until you have found the blessing.
The thing you hate:
your hate is a way of hanging on—
because it still has something for you,
a new birth it is trying to give you.
The angel is usually not out there,
but within.
(Remember you’re not wrestling with tragedy,
you’re wrestling with God.
Though every loss is a lesson,
God does not assign pedagogical tragedy.)
The awful event, the terrible loss,
the insult or injustice you’ve suffered,
is not likely a blessing,
but there is one there.
Watch how you resist it,
and learn instead.
Don’t seek the fight; seek the blessing.
You can’t forget, move on, grow up,
you can’t get wise
until you have sought and gotten the blessing.
In that moment your suffering will re-name you
and walk away.
Let the crowd’s hunger be an opening for grace
and the loaves and fish will multiply.
Don’t let go
till you get the blessing.
―August 1, 2017