Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
         
         
This far into spring, there is still some snow in the woods, white shadows, fading crescents of ice lying beneath the thickets. I wonder how long it will take the warm air and rain to melt it all away. I wonder when the last spring snow will fall, and disappear.

This far through Lent, I’m not done repenting. This far along in my life, there are still icy places in my heart, resistance, life frozen up, covered. I wonder how long it will take for it to melt away.

The woods have no anxiety about this. Some trees are already budding, and there are little pussy willows fuzzing up at the edge of the meadow. Others are as bare and stern as in December. The beech trees are still hanging onto last year’s leaves. They do not compare or judge, or concern themselves with gauging the future. They simply open themselves to the sun as it moves in among them.

“How much?” “How long?” “How good?” These are the questions of the anxious mind, and are of no help. Leave them behind, go into the meadow, and wait. Our hearts thaw out, and sins melt away, not under pressure, not by grinding or digging, but by resting in the warmth of God. Rest there, then, and enjoy the grace that even with ice at your feet you are enfolded in a gentle, warm embrace. Let it hold you. Forget the blizzards of your guilt, let go of yearning for the summer of you perfection, and simply be in this present moment, held in the warmth of God.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.

         
         

A spirit came, adorned in white,
with flowers of spring, in rising light,
and laid a hand upon my breast,
and said, “’Tis you, among the rest,
I love. And as each moment slips
away your name is on my lips.
Each breath you take, and then release,
I breathe, until such breathing cease.
And though you do not see me here,
I hold your heart. I’m always near.”
So deeply known, and loved, I fell
in love, and yet I could not tell
how such a lovely stranger might
have come to know my day and night,
my soul, the heart and boundaries
of all my life. Then gently these
and all my questions, with a smile
the spirit interrupted, while
embracing me, intent and grave
and ardent, and then gently gave
me such a look of tender calm,
and traced a line across my palm,
and, wreathed in silence, breathing peace,
said, “Truly, I will not release
my claim upon you, precious child,
‘till you are finally reconciled
with my low, patient, humble way—
no, not until your dying day.
I give you nothing, but enfold
your hands in mine so that you hold
me always, and you always know
that I hold you, ‘till you let go.
I will be with you, always near,
‘till you, like I, shall disappear.”
The spirit placed an airy ring
upon my finger, promising,
“To you, my love, I will be true,
and some day I’ll come back for you.
So watch, each moment, and attend.
It won’t be long; the path will end.”
The spirit gave a garland made
of flowers (that would quickly fade),
and touched my forehead with a prayer
and left me, trembling, standing there—
and yet, I vow, did not depart,
but lives here still within my heart.
Now every time I sigh, or sleep,
or sit in silence, close and deep,
I see the shadow of my friend
who is my path, and is my end,
and give and take, with every breath,
the gift that is my life, and death.
And all things change, and all things die;
each moment passes, as do I.
I die to all but this brief day
‘till I myself have gone that way.

         
         

Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

_______________________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.

When Lazarus heard his name
he took a sudden breath.
With visceral trembling blood resurged.
But then, as when awakening some days,
he lay a moment, mired,
reluctant to rise from the familiar
swaddling of his death.
Rising, even more than dying,
there could be no return:
for if he chose to stand,
all he knew would then be lost.

And still now every morning,
each momentary wish for healing
is a risk, a wakening call
to change, to choose,
to leave so much behind,
and be again made new.

Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

That without a word
you sat with me in grief,
me wounded and alone,
robbed beyond grasping,
you silent and present,
beyond grasping—
this was love.

That you did not save me
but accompanied me,

that when I fell apart,
confident in the whole you did not try
to glue back the pieces,

that you did not protect me from my pain,
my heart’s crucial kneading,
did not root around in the ashes
looking for blame,

that you resisted the temptation of explanation,
the ruse of a plan, some clever dramatic device
as if the click of some little metal piece into place
could dismiss what was happening in my heart,

that you set me no timetable, that you planted
no fence beyond the strong horse of my anguish,

that you withheld your dexterous knowhow,
so readily shouldered the weight,
accepted the nails of powerlessness,
dared the nothingness empty-handed,

that you were still there
as the petals fell,
patient for the rolling away of the stone—

this is how you loved me,
helpless, raw and given.
This is how you love me still,
since love that has passed through death
will never die again.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
         
         
“Prophesy to these bones, and say to them: O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. Thus says the Lord God to these bones: I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live.”
         —Ezekiel 37. 4-5

So the sisters sent a message to Jesus, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” … He said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just now trying to stone you, and are you going there again?”… Jesus began to weep. … He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
         — from John 11

Under the roaring silence of your death,
a voice calls you by name.
Tunneling under the the world yelling at you,
a bird song that pierces iron walls,
a strong hand, unflinching, a voice
reaches into the dark mountain,
reaches through the cages and sewers,
the vast abandoned valleys,
into the shark’s mouth of fear,
into the cave of your death, and its own,
and finds the skeleton,
finds the bones made of stone and despair,
gathers your bones from trash piles,
and speaks to your fragments,
wraps its flesh around your bones,
gives them its blood, its breath, its life.
Only the voice of a love that fierce
can call your name
and you come out,
out of your old death
into the quiet morning,
a squinting newborn,
stunned, beloved, swaddled,
ready to be set free,
knowing nothing
but the sound of that voice.
         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

Awake at night, in covering darkness,
held unfaithfully by sleep,
I stirred. I became incomplete.

I was helpless: in love,
unable to resist.
I rose and crept out into the dark.

Guided by the faintest light I sought you,
and found you and fell into your arms,
and you wrapped yourself around me,

your arms the arms of dawn,
your legs the shining hills of earth,
your hair the radiance of sun.

You enveloped me in light,
and we lay together in the clear day,
for all to see.

Why, then, time after time,
am I still ashamed, as if it is a secret,
that we love each other so?

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

Though Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, after having heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was. Then after this he said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the people there were just now trying to stone you, and are you going there again?” …. Thomas, who was called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” … Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” … Jesus began to weep. … He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
         —from John 11.1-44

Compassion is the courage to enter into another’s suffering for the sake of their blessing. It is not always problem solving. It is presence, out of which we may take action to bring about healing or justice. Jesus went to Bethany not merely to fix Lazarus, but to enter into the sisters’ grief, the grief of all mortals that even Jesus cannot spare us from. Thomas, Faithful Thomas, recognized his courage, and chose to share it.

It is only from the place of weeping with those who weep that we can enact healing for those who suffer and justice for those who are oppressed. What stands between us and the eradication of poverty and injustice is not power, resources or adequate economic theories, but the insulation we place in fear between us: we are afraid of feeling their loneliness or their hunger, touching their hopelessness, sharing their pain.

Our Lenten fasting is a practice of courage, of entering into another’s suffering, even a small bit of it, for the sake of compassion and justice, and learning to care about love more than comfort and security. Our fasting and prayer is no mere gesture. It is practice, by which we enter into the suffering of the world for the sake of its healing. In so doing we enter into the heart of God, whose very nature is self-giving love for the sake of her beloved Creation. The measure of our suffering is of no matter: in prayer and fasting we die to ourselves and become part of the Body of Christ, sharing the love of Jesus and the courage of the saints and martyrs. Forty-three years ago on this day, April 4, Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. In prayer and in fasting, his courage and compassion becomes ours.

In love, weep with those who weep and stand with those who are oppressed, in the spirit of the One who weeps with us in love, the One who calls us out of our fear into new life, who raises us up, unbinds us and sets us free.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

April 1: a foot of thick snow.

May heaven’s April fool jokes
continually beset you;
may the fickle drifts of your mastery
pile up, and melt,
but only after you shovel them;
may the treasures of earth
awaken your flesh and invite you to dance;
may unexpected blessings
weigh upon you, change your plans,
soak in deep, and make things green.
May you never need to know
too far in advance.
May you be ambushed by grace,
and always more astonished than not.
May every squall return you
to the fleeting moment
and whisper: Watch.
This won’t last long.

____________________
Weather Report

Variable,
as a front of unpredictability sweeps away
a high pressure zone of control,
with increasing powerlessness
and occasions of “being at the mercy of.”
Expect high humility, and accumulations
of 6 to 10 inches of surrender.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
         
         

We built a church of wood
         and they burned it to dust.

We built a shrine of gold
         and they stole it all.

We built a cathedral of stone
         and they toppled it with ease.

We walked out into a field of love
         and they can’t even find it.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
         
         
As he walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.
         God, help me see your glory.
         Open my eyes to your grace.

“We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”
         May I see by your light.
         May I do the works of light.

He spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva and spread the mud on the man’s eyes, saying to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). Then he went and washed and came back able to see.
         Help me let go of old ways of seeing.
         Give me a new consciousness.

The neighbors and those who had seen him before as a beggar began to ask, “Is this not the man who used to sit and beg?” Some were saying, “It is he.” Others were saying, “No, but it is someone like him.” He kept saying, “I am the man.”
         Give me courage to see others as they truly are,
         not as I want to see them.

Now it was a sabbath day when Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes. Some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not observe the sabbath.”
         I confess that I sometimes care more
         about defending my world view
         than about others and their well being.

They did not believe that he had been blind and had received his sight until they called his parents and asked them.
         Give me grace to honor what is in my heart
         without having to ask others what I know to be true.

So for the second time they called the man who had been blind, and they said to him, “Give glory to God! We know that this man is a sinner.”
         Help me to see your grace in those whom I judge,
         to see your truth in what I resist
         to see your presence where I have refused to see.

He answered, “I do not know whether he is a sinner. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.”
         Once I judged, and I was blind,
         but by your grace I see grace
         and my eyes are opened.
         You have set me free
         from the fear of seeing.
         You give me courage to see what is,
         and behold what is before me.
         I look with my soul, not only my eyes,
         and I watch what others do not notice.
         I look to the heart, and attend to the soul,
         and so I see the unseen, by your grace.

They said, “We know that God has spoken to Moses, but as for this man, we do not know where he comes from.”
         I confess the preconceptions that blind me,
         the blinders of what I want to be true,
         and how I want to be right.

The man answered, “Here is an astonishing thing! You do not know where he comes from, and yet he opened my eyes. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.” They answered him, “You were born entirely in sins, and are you trying to teach us?” And they drove him out.
         Give me courage to see grace and and mercy,
         to notice injustice and demeaning,
         even when others want me not to see,
         when I would be at ease being oblivious.

Jesus heard that they had driven him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” He answered, “And who is he, sir? Tell me, so that I may believe in him.” Jesus said to him, “You have seen him, and the one speaking with you is he.” He said, “Lord, I believe.” And he worshiped him.
         God, help me to see with your eyes,
         with your compassion,
         with your grace,
         for otherwise I am blind.

Jesus said, “I came into this world for judgment so that those who do not see may see, and those who do see may become blind.” Some of the Pharisees near him heard this and said to him, “Surely we are not blind, are we?” Jesus said to them, “If you were blind, you would not have sin. But now that you say, ‘We see,’ your sin remains.”
         God, be my seeing.
         Create me anew as your eyes.
         Look upon this world with love
         from within me.

—from John 9
         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

______________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net