Still lost

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
 
 
Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it?
           — Luke 15.4

Well, none of us, actually. Who would leave 99, guaranteed, to find just one maybe? A lover of long odds, champion of the impossible.

That would be God, Seeker of the Hopeless, Companion of the Lost, Paramour of the Wretched. Oh, we think we’re so realistic. We suppose such a God would have to be a ridiculous optimist. But God just knows more than we do. So off goes the shepherd, over our tiny horizon.

We are enamored of the “after” picture. We all want to be “after.” After you’ve done whatever we suppose makes God happy, you get to go to heaven. But have you noticed it’s always the “before” picture that God heads for? God loves the rough cuts, the unfinished ones—you know, those pesky wretched sinners that we want so much not to be. The lost sheep. Loves ’em. Delights in them. Gladly leaves 99 righteous sheep (who are sure they are God’s favorites) and heads off into the brambles for the one wayward fleabag. Which is a good thing, because we’re not actually as found and finished as we think. If someone asks, ”Are you saved?” and you’re afraid the answer is no, you’re in luck. You’re the type God really loves.

So maybe we can relax. Stop trying to be the “after” picture, the perfect sheep, and just trust that God really loves us as we are. Sure, we want to repent, grow, all that stuff. But repentance is mostly learning to trust that God loves us before we get there. And practicing that on everybody around us. Learning to love people while they’re still lost—since that’s pretty much the only way God has to love us.

 
 
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

_______________________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
unfoldinglight.net

Published
Categorized as Reflections

Lost Coin

Dearly Beloved, Grace and Peace to you.

What woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, “Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.” Just so, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents. — Luke 15.8-10  

         I

Each moment of your life is an instance of the Beloved calling, seeking you, reaching, reaching. This world is her lamp. This moment is her house. She wants you more than you think. Lift up your head, and let yourself be found.

         II

You may think of yourself as a pebble among billions on a beach. But Love knows which one you are. Exactly where you are. The contours of your surface, the feel and heft of your life, the secrets of your inner silence. Along this infinite seashore, she can find you in the dark.

         III

Don’t worry that you need something, that you have to seek something you lack. It is you yourself who are the treasure. It is God, not you, who is seeking. No matter how far off you are God will never leave you there. God holds you with delight, and will never throw you away. Ever. You are the completion of her dowry, the silver coin she strings around her neck. You are her beloved. Her joy in finding you is as immense as the seashore. She throws a party. All of Creation is God’s celebration that she has you. Everyone is invited—especially the lost, the hopeless, the ones not worth looking for. She spends everything for each one.

         IV

God is not oblivious. You are not under the cushions of her sofa. You are in her hand. Be at peace.

Deep Blessings, Pastor Steve

_______________________________ Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes Unfolding Light www.unfoldinglight.net

Published
Categorized as Reflections

Lost Sheep

Dearly Beloved, Grace and Peace to you.

Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders and rejoices. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, “Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.” Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.               — Luke 15.4-7

       I

You are not bad, or even entirely at fault. You are just lost. There is nothing you can do. God is neither scolding nor demanding anything of you. Only coming toward you, seeking, finding, reaching, cradling.

       II

Do you think you are hidden from the Loving One? That you blend into the drab, unsavory corners in this world so that God doesn’t see? What do you do, not even meaning to, to wander away, to cover yourself with the camouflage of this world? What is it in your life that you think hides you from God? What if you came to see that all along, even in your fleeing, you were seeking?

       III

Your shepherd knows where to look, and probes the distant places, the rough and desolate and hurtful places, the hidden canyons and unexplored wastelands, the thickest brambles and murkiest swamps. He will plunge through the darkness and come straight to you as if on a path. For this wilderness where he seeks you is not a foreign place, but your own heart. Stay still, and he will come.

       IV

Every word we speak is the bleat of a lamb in the wilderness.

Deep Blessings, Pastor Steve

_______________________________ Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes Unfolding Light www.unfoldinglight.net

Published
Categorized as Reflections

Count the Cost

Dearly Beloved, Grace and Peace to you.     Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.   —Luke 14.27-28, 33

    God, help me to walk away from all I possess, to fall in love with you, and follow you in love. Let my money and my goods belong to those who need them more. My comfort and security, my power and control, and all that others think of me, I’m giving away. My habits and my ways of thinking and of doing things, my mastery, I’m selling at a yard sale, cheap. My assumptions and judgments I leave behind—even my deepest beliefs— and only follow you, and there alone discover what I know, receive what is given to me, and possess what is mine. Holy One, Life-Breather, this day I let go of everything I have and leave it all to follow you. And tomorrow all that I’ve acquired I’ll give away again.     _____________________ Weather Report

Clear, as a low pressure system brings relief from the obscuring clouds of having and doing, the stickiness of all we cling to, and we become who we are.     Deep Blessings, Pastor Steve

_______________________________ Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes Unfolding Light unfoldinglight.net

Mountain Top Experience

Dearly Beloved, Grace and Peace to you. This weekend I hiked the Franconia Ridge in New Hampshire’s White Mountains, including Mt. Lafayette, one of the highest peaks in the eastern US. It was a beautiful Saturday, so of course I was not alone. I was prepared to run into other hikers, and to share the summit with a small crowd. But I was not prepared for how chatty they were up there. It sounded like a bus station. People chattered on an on about their businesses and cars and taxes and—really!— plumbing problems at home.

We stood atop a miraculous thrust of rock into the sky, with a view of the great wide earth in every direction. We saw mountain ranges to the east and west, clouds messing Mt. Washington’s hair. We looked down on lush forests. We got a glimpse of the vastness of the earth. And we exulted in the wondrous gift of legs that could carry us up there and take us back down, and hearts and lungs that served us so well. And if we looked—but no one looked—there were little red berries on the eastern side of the summit, and little tiny alpine flowers. No one seemed to be looking at anything. They were just talking and eating and taking pictures (mostly of each other). And talking. I wonder if they even noticed they were having an actual mountain top experience. I had to hike north and find a wind-blasted rock outcropping to find what ought to be abundant on mountain tops: silence.

I understand. People are easily frightened by awe, like heights, and so they stay away from the edge. We all do, to some degree. We keep our experience shallow, we distract ourselves with trivia, we numb out. But we miss a lot.

How often are we in a miraculous place and forget to stop in awe? How often does the silence of heaven surround us and we don’t dare to listen, or beauty come to us and we don’t look it in the eye? How often do we have a mountain top experience and don’t even know it? How often is this life beautiful enough, but we are not present?

Pay attention today. You may not be in a dramatic location, nor have to work very hard to get there. But you might encounter something awesome—if only you will give it your attention, your silence, your wonder. Practice noticing in the ordinary moments. Then not only will you be ready for the really spectacular ones, but they’ll happen more often.     Deep Blessings, Pastor Steve

_______________________________ Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes Unfolding Light unfoldinglight.net

Psalm 81

Sing a song to the Love of our Lives;       a love song to the One we’ve seen and known. Pick up something and make a beat on it,       blow it or strum it so it sings! Start up the song at a good time, or awkward—       either way it’s a party.

For this is God’s Way. You’ve known it       in the time of your worst suffering: the voice that says, “I’ve relieved you of your burden.       Beloved, I’ve set you free. When you wept in secret, I heard you.       In your weakness I was power in you. When you were tested,       I was grace. Remember?

So listen to me now.       This is for you. Why bow down to what doesn’t set you free?       Why give in to what you know isn’t true? I am Being itself.       I stand between you and your prison cell. Open your mouth wide.       I will fill it.

But do you listen to the silence that speaks?—   or do you want to stay in control? I’ve let you dash around after your feelings,   leash yourself to your thoughts. Now try listening to something deeper.   Let yourself embody Love’s wisdom.

That takes all the power away       from what would diminish your life. Whatever is rooted in fear withers,       and your freedom from it is guaranteed.

What I really want is to feed you exquisitely,       to nourish you with the most amazing food.”

_______________________________ Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes Unfolding Light unfoldinglight.net

A prayer for presence

Dearly Beloved, 
Grace and Peace to you.
 
 
Holy One,
Intimate Presence,
Perfect Love,
 
you are with me now
in my waking, in my awareness,
in my breath.
 
You are present in this day,
and will be present in all things,
each moment, each occurrence.
 
I do not ask that you shield me
but that you be with me,
and that I be present to you.
 
You will be in the secret beauties,
in the puzzles and frustrations,
in the empty boring passages.
 
You will be in light and shadow,
pleasure and pain, answer and
question, invitation and rebuff.
 
You will be in my safety and in my risk,
in my triumphs and defeats,
in my breath and in my flesh.
 
Your Holy Presence will be in strangers,
in voices and silences,
clarity and mystery.
 
You will be looking gently upon me
with blessing, deep into my eyes,
and looking out through my eyes.
 
I pray that I may be mindful of your presence,
and listen for your voice,
and act in harmony with your grace.
 
I pray as I live, in the power of your Spirit,
in the mystery of your creating,
and in the company of your Christ.   Amen.
 
 
 
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve
 
 
_____________________________ 
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net
 
 
 

A place at the banquet

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.

But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, “Friend, move up higher.” … When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
— from Luke 14. 10-14

Forget false modesty,
or a clever set-up for a public compliment:
this is about losing yourself.
You can go through life asking what’s in it for you—
seeking thanks, payback, recognition—
and be disappointed—in this ungrateful world,
and, face it— in yourself.
Or you can forget yourself,
and look for ways to give, unrewarded,
because giving is wondrous,
and be constantly surprised.
Find the joy in unreturnable favors,
thankless jobs, unrewarded gifts, wasted blessings.
Stop trying to manage your return
like an anxious shopkeeper,
and give everything away.
Then everything becomes a gift.
Once it becomes a joy to you to see the needy receive,
all of life is an invitation to a banquet.
Always, the head table is in the servant’s quarters.

Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

_______________________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
unfoldinglight@hotmail.com

God’s passionate devotion

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.


Thus says the Lord: What wrong did your ancestors find in me that they went far from me, and went after worthless things, and became worthless themselves? They did not say, “Where is the Lord who brought us up from the land of Egypt?” … My people have changed their glory for something that does not profit…. My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living water, and dug out cisterns for themselves, cracked cisterns that can hold no water. Is Israel a servant, a slave by birth? Why then has he become plunder?

—Jeremiah 2. 5-6, 11, 13-14

The God of the Old Testament is often portrayed as vindictive, judgmental, and often in a foul mood. It’s said that the New Testament God is the loving who cares for us, while the Old Testament version is just mad that we broke the rules. But God is no more angry at us than we are at a child who runs into a busy street. It’s not the rules, but our lives, that God is so passionate about.

God only loves us, and is anguished that we endanger ourselves. God gives us life and sets us free, and ardently calls us to turn away from attachments that enslave us and diminish us. God wants clear, flowing, life-giving water for us, not brackish tank water. God wants freedom for us, not attachment and addiction. What appears as God’s anger is really God’s devoted passion for us to change in order to be fully alive and fully free.

Be mindful of the One who is your life, your breath, your energy, and your freedom. Recently, how have you sought “life” in accomplishment, in security, in what other people think of you? And how have you sought life in the Holy One? How have you given yourself over to things that enslave you? How might God be wanting to set you free?

God is the fountain of life within you. Abandon the leaky pits you dig that hold fetid water, and turn to the Life-Giving One. God is your freedom. Trust that God desires that you be fully alive and free. Let go of your attachments, and receive from the Beloved life that is undiminished.

When it seems like God is shouting at you, don’t worry that God is mad at you. It might be that you’ve run out into the street, and God really really wants you to be OK. Turn around and listen.

Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

_______________________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
unfoldinglight@hotmail.com

Yard sale

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.

We had a big yard sale. Some people were happy to find an item they were looking for, some enjoyed bargaining, some just wanted to feel like they’d made a steal. Some people haggled over every little dime (generally, more well-dressed folks). (I can just imagine their prayer lives.) We let go of a lot of things for pretty cheap. After all, the reason we did this was not to make money, but to get rid of stuff. Toward the end we gave a lot away. Man, it feels great.

What is it that makes your life rich? Probably what you give away, not what you hang onto. More likely things like faith, hope and love. Things like relationships, awareness, attitudes, possibilities. Things like joy, generosity, courage, gratitude. In fact, most of what enriches our lives are the kinds of things that are renewed the more we give them away—like forgiveness, attentiveness, trust, blessing. It’s sharing, not possessing, that enriches our lives. It’s true of our talents and abilities. It’s often true even of our possessions. The more we let go of, the more ready we are to receive what is given to us.

Do you want your life to be about getting or giving? Why not let go of everything? Let your life be a yard sale. When life haggles with you, let things go. Let go of everything. Let it go. Trust that no matter what you give away, you will thrive. “Be content with what you have; for God has said, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you’” (Heb. 13.5).

Live today as if you know that it is not what you have but what you give that makes your life rich.

Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

_______________________________
Copyright © Steve Garnaas-Holmes
unfoldinglight@hotmail.com

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