Grace and Peace to you.
Sometimes as I wake up and face the morning, I don’t feel hope or anticipation. I feel a weight on me—not a great, crushing burden, just a little load, enough to weigh my spirit down. It’s usually the weight of something unpleasant coming, some duty or obligation, some sense of something I ought to do, something between me and joy. Maybe it’s a big responsibility at work, or maybe it’s just a household chore. Or guilt over something that I messed up. Maybe it’s loneliness. Maybe it’s fear that this is not going to be a brilliant day. Maybe it’s a vague sense that I need to prove myself, or that my life ought to be somehow different, and that that difference is a long way off. It’s a heavy feeling, a binding-up, discouraging feeling.
That’s when I sit down and come back to the present moment. I disregard all those thoughts about the future or some other existence, and simply be aware of myself sitting in this room, breathing, alive, created by God, and a delight to God. I direct my attention to God’s presence. I don’t expect to feel it, but I let my deep awareness go beyond my feelings. I become aware that God is lovingly present, embracing me and dwelling within me. And in that presence I lay my burdens down. I lay down my fears and expectations, my thoughts and feelings, all of it. I lay down the burden of my despair, the burden of the rest of the day, the burden of upholding who I am. I simply be, here and now, and let God be with me. In this moment, in this breath, there is only God.
And when after a time I go, I leave my burdens down by that riverside. I leave them. And God goes with me, from this present moment into the next—free, beloved, and light. Although sometimes I have to stop again and lay my burdens down once more and enter the joy and freedom of the present moment, the blessing of God’s presence. That’s the pilgrimage: not to carry your treasure to some far off destination; but to lay your burdens down and leave them and walk in the grace of God. That’s the most beautiful journey of all.
To subscribe to Unfolding Light write to me at unfoldinglight8 (at) hotmail.com