Category: Reflections

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      
         “Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!”
                  —John 2.16

I don’t want to have had to beg.
I’ve brought my offering, fair price.
The unknowing face, the curing knife,
the little cry, the pang, parceled out,

not great, but enough to satisfy,
the dark lump in my rough basket.
(Its weight can’t be dismissed,
how it knocked against the crowd.)

But it’s taken at the door,
I have nothing to offer now.
The market’s empty.
There’s no exchange,

only a stillness
in which all is well, already well,
the wound received, unpaid.
a longing met, two hearts rejoined.

There is no market. Just presence.
Only now do I kneel,
with hands less empty than at first,
my priceless heart, my eyes of light.

        
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

      
         Who can discern their errors?
                  Free me from my hidden faults.
                           —Psalm 19.2

God, I do not even know
the ways I distance myself from you,
the wonder I pass by without notice,
the glory I sleep through.
I can’t suspect the ways I hurt you,
fall short of your desire for me,
fail to be who you lead me to be.
I believe the little lies I tell myself;
I bow to my secret fears.
I don’t even know what it would be
to love as I have been loved.
I miss the hurt I cause
more often than I notice.
I share in people’s wounding and unfreedom
in ways I can’t see.
How often think I’m doing the right thing!
Forgive me, for I do not know what I am doing.
Forgive me for not knowing.
Forgive my hidden sins,
and if they can’t be removed at least
bring them out of hiding.
Wake me up.
Don’t let me think I have such a small inheritance:
let me see—let it overwhelm me—
just how immense
is the forgiveness I need,
and you offer.
O God, your love I receive
without even knowing why.

         
         

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      
         
This is about prayer.
When you’ve tramped down a path
over and over through deep snow
you create a little trough of packed snow
that you can walk easily on
though the powder on either side
is deep. It appears to be a trench
but really you’re walking on the top
of a narrow wall. Step off either side
and you plunge in up to your hips.

So what is the prayer part:
walking on the unseen?
Paying close attention, not stepping off,
not being fooled by drifted snow,
following the narrow way?
Yes, perhaps. But prayer is not so hard, is it?
I’m thinking of when you miss and
step off into the deep, stuck even a little—
that’s prayer. When you feel
the snow pressing against your legs.
When you really are where you are.
When you touch a boundary.
When you’re wondering what’s next.
When you stop.
When you laugh at yourself.
When you know you are an animal,
but not a fox.

Then you step back up onto the path
and get on with going places.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      
         What will it profit you to gain the whole world
                  and forfeit your life?
         Indeed, what can you give
                  in return for your life?
                           —Mark 8.6-37

To be truly alive
is to be fully, freely, lovingly present
in this moment,
drinking in the grace of God
and pouring myself out in love
for God and for all beings.

What do I gain
by abandoning this
to be right,
to get my way,
to be comfortable,
to manage how people think of me?

When I win the argument,
protect my beliefs, defend myself,
when I judge another
and put them in their place,
when I separate myself from those
who suffer pain or injustice,
when I buy another trinket
for my heart’s little room
and close the door,
what have I lost?

I am not a body or a reputation
but a soul.
God of love,
open my door.
Let life spill in
and spill out.
Let me suffer and love,
truly alive.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      
         Those who would save their life will lose it.
         Those who will lose their life for my sake
         and for the gospel will save it.
                  —Mark 8.35

If you fear your life is your flesh
         you will die.
If you trust your life is love
         you will be given life.

Life small enough to cling to
          is small indeed.
Life given away in love
         is infinite.

To be truly alive
         is to love.
All else is death.
         Why even try
         for anything else?

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      
         Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.
                  —Mark 8.34

God of love, be in me
to embody your gentleness and grace,
to love at my own cost,
to enter the suffering of the world,
to hold the wounded in my heart,
to bear the monstrous without explanation,
to absorb the pain without retaliation,
to let there be a hell on earth
without another,
to trust that even the greatest evil
cannot drive you out,
and that love and forgiveness alone
will change the world.
Grant me faith to be willing
to be overwhelmed
and raised again.
I do not ask for heroic strength
but for you
to bear the cross in me,
that by your Spirit in me
I may be Christ,
crucified,
and risen,
no longer small,
no longer threatened,
no longer afraid.

Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      
         You did not ignore the affliction of the afflicted;
                  you did not overlook me,
                  but heard when I cried out to you.
         You are the source of my joy
                  as I stand here in all Creation.
         I will sing to you among creatures
                  to whom you give life.
                           —Psalm 22.23-24

On my walk this morning it was fifteen degrees below zero. (I know you folks in Australia and South Africa don’t have to deal with this, but bear with me.) Being warm blooded, our warmth comes from within. In this kind of cold you think ahead about that warmth, and how to protect it out there. You think about every square inch of your body, and if something comes undone you fix it.

So it is with my spiritual warmth. God radiates from within me, miraculously, like the warmth of my own body, and I want to pay attention to every square inch of that grace, honor it deeply, receive it fully, and share it freely. Keeping habits of prayer and compassion are not obligations I’m burdened with in Lent: they’re ways to tend to the stewardship of my warmth. What do I do—what will I do today—to protect the warmth of my soul?

I take time to behold. I turn away from relying on external things to warm my soul—possessions, reputation, comforts, power. I let go of things that sap my warmth— anger, resentment, competition, judgment and worry. I attend to God fully in prayer and all day long in mindfulness. And when my mindfulness comes undone, I bundle up in God again. God gives me the luxurious warmth of heaven itself, burning within me. I don’t want to ignore or squander it. So I pay attention, and treasure it, so that I can bear warmth to those who are cold, even in Adelaide.
         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      

         He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan.
                  —Mark 1.12
                  

The light of the desert reaches down
into the crevices of the rocks,
can tell stone from shadow.

Holy One,
may I see myself with the eyes of love,
see clearly what in me is love
and what is not love.

Heal my fear,
forgive me wholly,
and hearten me
to choose well,
to step wisely.

         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      
         He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan;
         and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him.
                  —Mark 1.12-13
                  
Someone left the trail and showshoed off through the woods and over the frozen marsh. They took a curious, wandering path, often cutting oddly close to bushes instead of around them, taking funny little detours as they circled the marsh. I followed the trail. For several days I hiked the circuit. I wondered what those people were thinking— but I liked how whimsical it was.

Then one morning I saw the prints of a fox in the path, all the way around. And it hit me: the fox was not following our path; we had followed his. I was following obediently in the daily route of a wild animal.

I usually am. I follow the leadings of all kinds of “wild beasts”— inner urges, fears, habits and desires that I’m not aware of. They themselves are not evil; but mindlessly following them, I wander away from God and do hurtful things.

The path is not laid out for me. I have to chose it. This Lenten journey with Jesus in the desert, the journey of repentance, is not self-punishment. It’s self-awareness. It’s recognizing the wild beasts that influence me, and being intentional about the path I choose, listening for the voice of the Divine and following that instead of my random urges.

The fox is a beautiful being, a creature of God. And I will follow his trail again tomorrow morning. But that path is not the way home.

         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

To receive Unfolding Light as a daily e-mail,
write to me at unfoldinglight(at)gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,
Grace and Peace to you.
      
         The Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness.    
         He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan;
         and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him.
                  —Mark 1.12-13

Spirit,
drive me out
into my solitude,
my desolations,
my discomfort.

Set me down
among the wild beasts,
fears and hungers
pawing around inside me.

Put me at peace with them,
not the master but the saved,
the one to be tamed,
to listen to them,
lie down among them,
and go my way,
returned
to my feral innocence.

They will roam my wilderness,
I will learn their eyes,
I will live differently.

Among them,
who also answer,
are angels who attend
to those who wander there
so that we will.

         
         
Deep Blessings,
Pastor Steve

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

_____________________________________________________

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