Loving One, I will let you shepherd me
            to where you choose, not I.

You are what I need.
            Transform my desires.

My heart as still as the waters,
            I wait.

I am grateful for these green pastures;
            deepen my gratitude.

Lead me in the way of justice
            even through the shadow of death.

Along your via dolorosa
            comfort me.

To this rich table of your grace
            invite my enemies.

I accept your anointing.
            I drink of your cup.

Goodness and mercy are mine;
            mine, your presence.

                           —May 4, 2017

 

             I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold.
             I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice.
             So there will be one flock, one shepherd.
                           —John 10.16

I am doing my best to follow Jesus. I listen prayerfully for his voice. I continually question my fears and desires, because I know how hard it is to discern God’s voice from my own ego. I test my understanding of God’s call by searching scripture, reflecting on my experience, learning from the traditions of the church, and listening with others. I know I can be mistaken, but I stake my life on my devotion to Jesus as I believe he leads me.

I imagine others are doing the same. Yet some of them seem to be following in the opposite direction. What I do they abhor; what they do I can’t join in. What I care about doesn’t move them. What they’re obsessed with seems both petty and destructive to me. I’d rather argue about something that mattered, something life-giving. They seem to be moved by fears and wounds more strongly than trust and love. But I can’t judge. All I can do is love them, and follow the voice I hear.

My Methodist Church isn’t very United these days. Some Methodist sheep believe others “do not belong to this fold.” I don’t understand. I have no solution. But I know we are one flock not in our opinions, but in the shepherd’s love. So I keep my eye on the Shepherd of Love, and listen for his voice.

I will continue to follow as I am led, and not divert. I will not follow other sheep; I will follow Jesus. I’ll let Jesus lead his sheep, including those I don’t agree with. I’ll get to know them, listen to them, help them, love them and pray for them, but I won’t follow them, or ask them to follow me. I’ll follow Jesus.

I ask my Shepherd to keep speaking. I lay my heart open to listen. And I will follow. Whatever the difficulty, whatever the consequences, I will follow.

Breath prayer: Love … lead

 

                           —May 3, 2017

 

             The shepherd goes ahead of them,
             and the sheep follow
             because they know the shepherd’s voice.
                           —John 10.4

Gentle shepherd,
you who lead me to abundant life,
to live so others also may follow
and find green pastures:
help me know your voice,
recognize your calling,
hear my name.
Give me grace to listen
for your voice,
deep within,
so quiet, yet so clear,
the voice of One who leads,
leads to still waters,
leads through deathly valleys,
leads through all suffering, all joy,
leads to abundant life,
you whose very life is a leading,
whose love is a voice,
speaking to me,
speaking in me.
I quiet my soul.
I listen.

I listen for you.

I listen … for you.

                           —May 2, 2017

 

            You are my shepherd.

Not my fears. Not my desires.
Not the machinations of my ego.
Not my group and its partisans,
my nation, my party, my church.

You alone lead me in your path:
not the path of being right,
but the path of loving.

Help me to discern your leading.
Grant me the humble attentiveness
to see you loving, and to join you loving,
to love and to forsake all other ways.
Grant me the courage to follow,
even through the darkest valley.

I follow you, like a lamb;
and following me
come goodness and mercy.

Breath prayer: Shepherd me … in love

                           —May 1, 2017

 

            You have been born anew,
            not of perishable but of imperishable seed,
            through the living and enduring word of God.
                           —1 Peter 1.23

Beloved,
I am your infant in your arms

My flesh your holy vessel
For this eternal flowing

Carry me where you will
On the mountain of your back

I am your body made into singing
Each breath a new beginning

Sing me into this world
This living, beloved world

Breath prayer: + Your Word … born new +

                           —April 28, 2017

         Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets,
         he interpreted to them the things about himself
         in all the scriptures.
                  —Luke 24.27

The Beloved walks beside you,
murmuring in your ear.
His Teachings unfold
like spring beneath your feet,
his word a green singing
in every stone and leaf,
beyond your ears, beyond them.
You can’t originate it.
You have to listen.
In the stranger’s words,
the loved one’s tone of voice,
in the brief pause,
the little snake of doubt,
the silence of the dishes in the sink,
you have to listen.
Only later will you recognize it,
the truth you’ve known all along,
the voice you remember,
the word that awakens you,
your holy name,
the song of life.

                                     — April 27, 2017

     
The seed of you,
released in life’s gracious sowing,
descends in darkest soil,
where the fingers of God,
earthy and rank,
smelling of root and rot,
work open your shell,
pry loose your outer being
and let you spill into earth,
blood outflowing its veins.
Hands of darkness hold you
still, deathly still,
longer than you want,
close and unknowing,
until you are earth.
The grave that enwraps you
knows it is purely in the hands
of the One who changes everything
into life,
who has the only power.
In time the original light,
set free, swells in you,
and who you are,
who God is in you,
drains upward into light,
and a green blade appears,
changed, bewildered and radiant,
still yet to become freely
what you shall become.

The light in you knows this,
and proclaims
even to your own amazement
as you fall,
the good news.
 

                                —April 26, 2017

         Were not our hearts burning within us
         while he was talking to us on the road,
         and opening the scriptures to us?”
                  —Luke 24. 13-16, 32

Don’t expect to arrive at a place of knowing.
You are on the road of discovering, my friend,
and the flame in your heart
will only inconstantly let you know
that there also walks the Beloved, who yearns
only for this one passionate delight
above all the glories of heaven:
every moment, even the least memorable,
the least noticed at all,
simply to be with you.

                  —April 25, 2017

            An angel of the Lord, descending from heaven,
                        came and rolled back the stone and sat on it.
                                       —Matthew 28.2

Put that holy little butt right on it.
Maybe pulled out a sandwich.

Such is the regard God has
for whatever imprisons you.

Not that bad stuff never happens.
Jesus did die, after all.

The miracle recovery, the reconciliation,
the job, the parole, sometimes they fail.

But something’s bigger than your woes,
even your death.

Whatever stone’s in front of you,
just remember there’s a angel’s butt on it.
         

                                       —April 24, 2017

 

            An angel of the Lord, descending from heaven,
                        came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. …
                        For fear of him the guards shook and became like dead men.
            But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid;
                        I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified.
                        He is not here; for he has been raised…”
                                       —Matthew 28.2-6

They’ve been through hell, these women.
Unlike the men who ran they stayed close,
they saw him killed, they stood by him faithfully,
they showed up at his grave.
See how they’ve been resurrected now,
and passed from death to life:
though hardened soldiers faint
the women are too close to God
to be so frightened of angels.

God, bear me through,
and give me faith to stay present
in the face of holiness.

Breath prayer: + Holy … presence +
 

                                       —April 21, 2017