Between the so far and the not yet is the not.
Before Lazarus is the three days;
before the miracle the stone rolled over the womb.

In beginning is the Spirit-brooded waters,
darkness and chaos.
You leave everything behind on the shore
(so much you leave behind, so much)
for the amniotic drowning,
mother’s belly of the whale,
hear the baptismal eulogy,
Mary, what is conceived in you
(in darkness, holy water), is seed buried.

(After—do not be afraid—you will rise.
Heavens open, legs spread wide
(the labor is hers, not yours).
You come up out of the water
dazed into the bright world,
world of light, world of breathing,
where angels will greet you joying
and cut the umbilical past.)

But first—do not be afraid— the drowning.
What comes up must go down.
Before the promise, the wilderness.

Walk the floor of the sea
where Pharaoh can’t follow.

Go out into the desert.
There is a river there.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

January 9, 2020

            Just as he came up from the water,
                  suddenly the heavens were opened to him
         and he saw the Spirit of God
                  descending like a dove and alighting on him.
         And a voice from heaven said,
                  “This is my Son, the Beloved,
                  with whom I am well pleased.” 
                                   —Matthew 3.16-17

Jesus has taken you into himself;
this is your blessing.
The heavens—the divine heart of all being—
are open to you.
You are divine in nature,
having been created by God in love.
God’s Spirit is in you.
It is who you are.
You are God’s child, offspring of God,
emanation of the Holy One.
You are the Beloved.
This is your true identity and true calling.
You are the Beloved.
This is the first and hardest learning of the spiritual life:
to let yourself be the Beloved.
With you God is delighted.
In that phrase is the echo of God’s servant
in Isaiah 42, begotten and called to bring forth justice.
Go, then, and do justice and practice mercy,
knowing you are blessed and sheltered,
healed and forgiven,
and empowered to do so.

You are God’s Beloved, in whom God is delighted.
Breath prayer:
                           Beloved… Beloved

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

January 8, 2020

Flaming desires
                           consume us
tongues of hunger licking at 
                                            us
in the heat of the moment
here on the edge of our self-made
                                             hell
furnace of passions incinerating
                                             earth
as we warm ourselves
toast our success at
         our homemade damnation
climate of doubt heating up
climate of greed burning in us
cooking our goose our koala

Australia Amazon living beings 
                                            the fuse

this is not punishment this is
                                             ours

what will light the candle of our grief 
        eternal flame of sorrow
         burnt offering of repentance

where are our cooler heads 
                                            are they burned out

how can we pretend we don’t need
(harrowing of this world) 
                                            to be saved

what will melt our glacier melting hearts

pray for those our kin who are our kindling
Come, O Sun of Righteousness
with your flaming two-edged sword
                  and put out the fires of our want

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

January 7, 2020

         Having been warned in a dream
         not to return to Herod,
         they left for their own country by another road.
                  —Matthew 2.12

Herod, that sleaze, dressed in acceptability,
will entice me into evil in a thousand ways,
the collusion of silence, the assistance
of normalizing terror, demonizing people,
the great undertaking of fear and selfishness,
even mere judgment of another,
all draped in language of honor and greatness.

God, help me not fall for it.
Help me see the hidden ways
I cooperate with injustice, promote racism,
add to climate change, excuse violence.
Warn me in dreams—or in wakefulness.

Set above me your clear star of wisdom
that I may see and catch myself.
Give me courage to seek another road,
to arrest my own complicity, to change my ways.

Set me your star. Open my eyes.
Show me another road.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

January 6, 2020

         Opening their treasure chests,
         they offered him gifts
         of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
                  —Matthew 2.11

The magi studied stars and knew things.
They observed their world and understood.
They sought, they paid attention, and they found.

What they found was royalty, hidden
in a peasant child, hidden always,
and hidden in you: a royal priesthood.

You don’t have gold, frankincense or myrrh.
You also don’t have nothing. Even the shepherds
had something to offer. What do you have?

You are gifted. You are a treasure chest.
What God has given you this world needs.
Open your treasure chest. Offer. God will be pleased.

Breath prayer:  
                          Gifts … given

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

January 3, 2020

         “Where is the child who has been born
         king of the Jews?
         For we observed his star at its rising,
         and have come to pay him homage.”
                           —Matthew 2.2

Magi captained by a star, lured by love,
consult Herod possessed by fear
to find a young woman courted by grace
who has given birth to a boy
compelled by Holy Spirit.

(Herod, obsessed by rage, will hunt for the boy
but only for himself,
and so die hungering.)

Magi reeled by love
seek no glittering else.
Attentive, undeterred, persistent,
the star no mere sign but a magnet,
they will find the way,
and find another way.

Oh, to be so haunted.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

January 2, 2020

         Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth;
         for the first heaven and the first earth
         had passed away, and the sea was no more. 
                 —Revelation 21.1

Living Creator, you who make all things new,
this Eighth day of Christmas
is the eighth day of Creation:
beginning anew.
Entering a new year
I open myself to what is dawning in me.
Here I stand,
ready to be re-created.
In trust and wonder
I open myself to what shall be,
what is already becoming.
Reveal your creating power in me,
your voice in me, your hope in me,
your birthing in me.
I lay myself in your hands.
I open myself to your grace.
Let there be light.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

January 1, 2020

          O Mystery, remind me of my end,
         and how measured my days;
         keep me mindful how fleeting my life is.
                  —Psalm 39.4
                  
Before I step into the new year
I let go of the old one.
What I have done I have done.
What I have not done I have not done.
So be it. I release my regret.
I stand with myself.

For all the gifts I have received,
known and unknown, I am grateful.
However I have suffered I accept.
I learn what I can and move on.
Whatever others have done that hurt me,
I forgive. I learn and move on.
For however I have failed or fallen short,
I forgive myself. I learn and move on.

I release my fears.
I release my self-doubt, blame and self-silencing.
My hopes and dreams I place in God’s hands,
trusting what is blessed will remain with me.

I am alive, and life is good.
I open myself to the future,
enfolded in this present.
Holy Mystery, I am yours.
I am here, now.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

December 31, 2019

I hold you in my arms.
I carry you you everywhere,
or leave you behind.

I feed you the life of my flesh.
I guard you from what is harsh and hurtful,
most of it within me.

I learn to listen to your cries,
to honor your hunger,
to wonder at your wonder.

I do everything differently
with a tender infant in my arms.
I am glad to show to you strangers.

Every moment is a miracle, a revelation.
I watch you incessantly.
It is enough.

I will do anything for you.
Sometimes I forget
I hold you in my arms.

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

December 30, 2019

        When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the magi,
        he was infuriated, and he sent and killed all the children
        in and around Bethlehem who were two years old or under.
        Then was fulfilled what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah: 
                “A voice was heard in Ramah,
                        wailing and loud lamentation,
                Rachel weeping for her children;
                        she refused to be consoled, because they are no more.”
                                          — Matthew 2.16-18

Every year, politely aghast,
we push you aside, Rachel,
firmly usher you off stage
away from the baby
asleep in the manger,
no crying he makes,
so you don’t wake him
with your wailing.
Again this year you aren’t invited
to our pageant.

Let us come and kneel instead
at your cradle—empty—
your wanting lap,
and behold your devastation:
at the prison doors,
the border walls, the tent cities.
For once let’s abandon our denial
that you are the reason he came,
not our comfort and joy,
that our violence is the manger
into which he empties himself,
your grief the abyss he willingly enters.
Your cry is his voice.
With you we shove him offstage,
and our complicity—
until we confess
we have ravaged the manger;
this is Good Friday,
and he does not bear his cross alone.

For you, Rachel,
and your children,
we still our confident carols,
hold silence,
and let your lamentation
be the song of our angels.      

__________________
Steve Garnaas-Holmes
Unfolding Light
www.unfoldinglight.net

December 27, 2019